Are Your Wounds Defining Who You Are?

You get to choose what happens next.

In a world full of wellness wallpaper, I want to share something authentic, real and raw because I feel like we are all craving connection and real human expression.

I believe it's everyone's birthright to find joy in their lives, to move through the wounds and limitations that are holding them back from their true and pure self. Our wounds shouldn't define who we are, they are the scars of a life lived, we all have them. This journey we are on is about finding ways to carry those parts of ourselves with grace and ease. To find peace with all those versions of ourselves, especially the ones we didn't like.

Carrying doesn't mean fixing. It doesn't mean healing until there's nothing left to feel. It means finding a way to hold what happened to you without it holding you hostage. It means letting the hard parts sit next to the good parts, instead of spending your life trying to sand one of them down.

Quick story

When my mother passed away I was 16, just old enough to make poor decisions. I got a butterfly tattoo on my chest, despite her dislike of them. It was a "fuck this life" moment so that tattoo represented a dark time in my life.

Ten years later, I'm breastfeeding my babies and every time I saw it I was reminded of that deeply sad young girl. I hated it so much, I had it cut out and as brutal as that was, it didn't remove my pain or the experience I had.

If you're in the middle of trying to cut something out right now, I see you. If you already did it and it's still following you anyway, I see you too. Both are real. Neither one means there's something wrong with you. It just means you're human and you were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time.

So I wonder, when we cut things out of our lives, does it help? Do we find peace or joy or happiness or any other feelings we prefer? If the answer is no, then you get to choose what you do next: stay stuck in that story or integrate, accept and grow.

What she taught me

I chose to grow with her, to carry that version of myself with me. She's a great teacher. She reminds me when I'm being hard on myself and others, when I'm not in my heart's space but in survival mode. She taught me how strong I am but that I prefer softness and that I prefer to be with people I love, not alone. She taught me life is not about just surviving but thriving.

Some days that looks like catching myself mid spiral and choosing softness instead. Other days it's just picking up the phone and calling someone I love instead of going quiet. Every now and then it's simply looking at my chest, at the space where she used to be and knowing she's not gone. She's just not on the surface anymore.

Life is short and you get to choose what you do with it. I love that little reminder, it's like I get to choose how I respond to whatever life brings.

I'm not writing this from the other side of it with all the answers. I'm still learning everyday. So I'll ask you the same question I ask myself: what version of yourself are you still trying to cut out?

I'd love to hear your story. If you're ready to walk it with some support, the tools I used to heal myself are available to you too. Book a free 15 minute chat and let's find the very best options for your journey.

Lisa Aitken is the founder of The Let Go Room, a Yoga Australia registered yoga teacher with over a decade of experience supporting people’s wellbeing. She's trained in the Amrit Method and iRest Yoga Nidra, completed advanced Yin Yoga study and is certified in trauma-informed teaching practices. Lisa helps people reset their nervous systems, move through stuck energy and design lives with more freedom and joy. Explore her free meditations, personalised meditations, mentoring and more at theletgoroom.com.